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Monday, September 16, 2013

Mother (n): definition- a Destroyer of confidence.

As a foreword, I just want you all to know that I love my mother dearly. so dearly. MOM IF YOU ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. That being said, I want to know who the hell trusted you with scissors. AND MY DELICATE, IMPRESSIONABLE SELF IMAGE AS A CHILD.
This photo was taken in September of 2000; I was 9. I was also the most hideous thing I've ever seen. Everything negative about adolescence manifested itself in this unfortunate developmental period.

Moms, I ask you I BEG you not to cut your daughters bangs yourself if:

  1. you have an unsteady hand
  2. cutting straight has always proved to be problematic
  3. your daughter has wavy/curly hair
  4. your daughter has a cowlick
  5. you daughter resists you doing high maintenance do's
  6. you actually aren't capable of high maintenance do's

Crooked bangs are almost forgivable on a 5 year old; If I had cut these bangs, I would probably deny all hand in this endeavor and be all like "oh, ya.... you know kids.... always giving themselves haircuts....."

Mom, with that being said, I forgive you for making me look like a dweeb at least 4 years past the acceptable age for crooked bangs to exist. Also, thanks for going through childbirth for me- you are the best ((but not with scissors... just to clarify)).



  1. I just laughed out loud - not because of your photos, but your words. I love your sense of humor. I debated showing photos of me with bad eyebrows, but I just can't. I want to permanently remove such evidence (or years) out of my memory. Unfortunately I have no one to blame other than Drew Barrymore.

  2. DO IT. Bad eyebrows are the best. Being blonde means I don't have eyebrows unless I draw them on.... so, that's one area I was able to avoid disgrace. haha- I may have to do an eyebrow post and dedicate it to you!